Eating Paleo: Paleo Chili (ie "REAL" Chili)

Technically, "REAL" chili doesn't actually have beans. Most people don't know that.

This is Paleo chili.
I made this recipe the other night, by combining a couple of beanless, from-scratch chili recipes.
Now, it's just me that I'm cooking for so...measurements are fudged a bit so that I don't wind up making ridiculously massive amounts.

Sorry it's not very sharp - I took this photo with my cell phone camera :p

Ingredients:

• 2 cans of organic diced tomatoes
• 2 lbs ground beef
• 1 tbsp EVOO
• 4 cloves of garlic (minced)
• 1/2 an Onion (chopped)
• 4 carrots (chopped)
• 3-5 celery stalks (chopped)
• 3 Bay Leaves
• 2-4 sprigs of fresh thyme 
• Fresh parsley (chopped) - about 2-3 tbsp

Directions:

1. In a frying pan, cook up the ground beef (use a little cooking fat/evoo/coconut oil if needed/desired).
2. In a different pan (or, in my case, after cooking up the ground beef and moving it to a different dish and reuse the frying pan). In the EVOO, saute the garlic over low heat until it gets fragrant.
3. Add the onion, celery, and carrots and cook until the veggies are soft (or as tender as desired, I personally like to leave the carrots just a little crunchy to add in another texture to the mix).
4. Stir in the canned tomatoes and the cooked beef (at this point, I had to switch to a big pot because not all of this actually fits in a medium sized frying pan).
5. Add the bay leaves, thyme, and parsley.
6. Let cook on low for about 4 hours (I was too impatient...and only let it go for about 2 - it tasted fine, the addition of more time just allows the flavors to meld together a bit more).

Voila! Meat and Veggies all in one go, and very yummy! :)

This recipe makes a good size batch (even with my adjustments, it made more than I was expecting but it was fine because then I could just stick it in the fridge or freezer and eat it throughout the week for various meals).

Note - with the amount of prep that you have to do for this recipe (ie all the chopping) - you're gonna wind up feeling like an assistant chef as you're getting everything ready, but...I've found that listening to the soundtrack from Ratatouille helps to get into the mindset. And while, yes, it's a lot of prep - it's all still really very simple to put together. ("So easy a Caveman could do it!" :P)

And if ya make a little bit of a mess, don't feel bad - Cause I'm a *really* messy cook (although, I am improving...a little.) - Just be sure to do a really good job of cleaning up afterwards! :)

So long as your kitchen doesn't look like a tornado hit it afterwards...then you're a cleaner cook than I :p

Catch Your Breath; Continue Moving Forward

This post is going to seem somewhat disorganized and fragmented. I can't help it - it's how my mind has been lately.

When my Dad returned from his first deployment to Iraq, he hugged me so hard I wasn't able to breathe. I didn't mind. It was my dad, he was home, he was safe. Even as I was physically unable to breathe, my mind was able to let out the stress I'd felt the entire time he was gone. 

I still remember the first night of the war in Iraq. I remember sitting in a hotel room with my Mom and siblings, watching the footage of various military attacks in cities like Baghdad. They would show footage from attacks at night. You could see the skylines of the cities as the 'flash' of mortars lit up the night sky. I remember realizing that my Dad was out, in some foreign country fighting an enemy for reasons that I didn't fully understand; using real guns, real bullets and that if he died...it was for real. 

I remember a wave of terror filling me up, and then remembered someone telling me that if we let terror get to us, then the terrorists had won. I suddenly felt as though I wasn't allowed to be scared, otherwise the terrorists would win and my Dad would die. I had to do everything I could to not be scared for my Dad. I'd been taught in school that since I had a deployed parent, I had to be strong so that I wouldn't worry my younger siblings or my Mom (one of the 'perks' of going to a DoD school - they usually provide some kind of training for helping military kids prepare for a parents' deployment or reintegration. Is it good training? Who knows). That night, I told myself that I was being strong for my Dad too, so that he would stay safe. I think maybe it was my way of developing a coping mechanism so that I would have a reason to stay strong. 

When I fly - I never sleep on the airplane. For some reason, I feel as though my being awake, is the only thing keeping the plane in the air. If I sleep, the plane will crash. I realize that it's incredibly irrational, but I still refuse to sleep on a plane. My concern for my Dad while he was in Iraq was the same. If I was scared of the war, scared of what could happen, he would die. So long as I wasn't scared, so long as I pretended not to care, he would be okay. That's how I remember handling his first deployment. 

After you tell someone that you're an Army brat, that your parent has been deployed, they usually look at you with this pitiful expression and say something like, "That must have been so hard on you, growing up." I've had people ask me what it's like to have a parent go to war. Such a dumb thing to ask. It's one of those things that can't really be explained to someone who's never experienced it. There isn't a word for the simultaneous rush of fear, pride, conflict, confusion, and that painful desire just to have em home. Even at just 10 or 11 years old, I knew that everyday that Dad was gone the next knock at the door could be 2 uniformed soldiers coming to tell my Mom that Dad was KIA and I knew that I would be unable to console her. (You eventually learn to push those thoughts from your mind, but it definitely takes a while).

The sad thing is, the hardest part isn't even always the time that they're gone. Sometimes the hardest part is when they come back, and they're no longer the parent you remember them being. I used to be close to my Dad. I'm sure I even used to idolize him. I remember being little, sitting on the floor or on the couch next to him and watching him shine his boots or clean one of his guns. (I'm sure it's for that reason that I like the smell of shoe polish, and the metal-against-metal sound of a freshly cleaned pistol being reassembled). I remember when I was younger, every now and then, if I was misbehaving and was sent to my room - he would come in and calmly talk to me. Even when I was in high school and acting like a total brat, he managed to have one or two of those moments when he was willing to be particularly patient with me, he would come in and we would discuss things like how it was important for me to be more responsible and mature; and other things like what school I would go to for college.

After different deployments to Iraq and being stationed in Korea, he's become a different person, one that I don't know very well and as a result, we've grown apart.

My Dad has always seemed to be proud of my intelligence. My mom has told me of instances when he's bragged to the soldiers he works with or even just strangers that his oldest daughter knows all about this or that. Knowing this about him means a lot to me, and it has become even more important to me over time as my Dad and I have kind of grown apart. Growing up, my Dad (well, both my parents, but Dad was always the one to really push it) had a rule that none of us kids were allowed to get married until we've earned our degrees.

I'm very close to finishing my degree. Only this and summer semester left. 

It's become very clear to me, just how important it is to me that I finish this. 

I want to make my parents proud of me.

I want to prove to everyone that I'm capable of completing something, of accomplishing something.

I want everyone who knows me to know that I place an incredibly high value on knowledge and education, because my parents placed a high value on that and encouraged me to work for that. 

But suddenly, life is pulling me in different directions, and I'm starting to choke and burn out. I'm not doing nearly as well as I know that I could be. My anxiety keeps me from focusing and getting adequate sleep.

I'm beginning to fear that I may not be able to finish my degree, even though I want it so badly. That fear keeps paralyzing me, and it makes things worse.

But I can't let the terror win. When I finish, I can let the stress go.

His Side of the Story [Part 2]

Okay ya'll! Ready for part 2 of his side of the story!? - Seriously, if you weren't thinking before that he might be pretty flippin awesome, wait until ya read this! (Minor editing and comments made by yours truly!)


Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. [Part 2]

Here I am writing part two, of Boy Meet's Girl, Girl Meets Boy. Not an original title by any stretch of the imagination. I didn't really intend it to be, but I suppose I could have done better. Though I do digress. My mom mentioned I left off at a very bad time. I believe the exact quotation was, "Just as it was getting interesting." I don't disagree with the comment at all. It was just getting interesting, and then class had to go and end. It was quite inconsiderate of it to do so, interrupt the creative process in all, but then again given I was the one writing during class perhaps I was the one being inconsiderate....Nah...that seems hardly plausible. Anyway, here I am, sitting in a library, of which I plan to pen, er, type out the rest of the delightful story that y'all have been waiting read.

I do admit the previous paragraph did serve purpose as to arouse my creative faculties so that the next bit may be adequately written. As previously stated, this public record, this journal entry of sorts, is not my style so I must warm up if I am to do the event justice. The following represents the tender moments of realization and love that I have come to known and cherish. Alas, there is a voice in the back of my mind quoting a well quoted movie, "Get on with it!" [My sentiments exactly! :P]

Let's see now, where did I leave off? Ah, I know, she shot my truck. Moving on. Kaylynne and I still kept in contact on Facebook through the eventful year of 2011 There were a lot of events in my life that happened. I was involved in a relationship, which did not end well. My sister got married. I changed jobs, in part due to the economic slowdown. I moved once, then twice, I made goals and saw those goals fulfilled. Honestly all of them were experiences that allowed me to mature. Both spiritually, and mentally. My outlook on life, my goals, dreams, desires all changed some.

I served a mission in Carlsbad, California. I've been to Japan, I've done some pretty cool things, and had some pretty cool experiences, but I can honestly say that the past year has changed me in ways that no other time in my life has. Change is often hard, but in many cases, as it has been with me, it has been for the best. It wasn't until November of 2011 that Kaylynne reentered my life again. As she has previously stated she participated in a Facebook fast, beginning in October.

This fast, was not really known amongst her friends. [That's because it wasn't really planned- I announced it about 1/2 an hour before I closed down my page.] At least, I didn't know about it, nor did my sister. I believe it was around Thanksgiving dinner that I mentioned to my sister and Rod, that it had been sometime that I had seen Kaylynne on Facebook. Rebekah had thought she'd gone over to using Google+. Google's new social networking site. I mentioned to my sister that I kind of missed the quirky fun comments that Kaylynne and I shared back and forth on random status updates.

Coincidentally Kaylynne reappeared on Facebook a week or so later. Announcing that she was back. The explanation was had, and life continued on its merry way. We started to make quirky comments back and forth again. I honestly thought nothing of it until I was driving to work one afternoon, after having just gotten out of class. Though I cannot remember if it was a post she put on Facebook, or a comment she made, but for some reason she entered into my mind. I came to the sudden realization that, I actually had feelings for her. I missed that she was gone. I missed having that nearly daily interaction.

So, after having that mini epiphany I do what every guy does after having such an event. I called my Mom, and told her the news. [Does every guy really do that!?] It was exciting for me, and we chatted for a few moments. Most likely about date ideas, anyone who knows of, or knows my Mom, knows she is all too willing to talk about relationships. Always has at least a dozen date ideas on hand, and always encourages creative and cheap dates. Her motivations for doing so has made her famous amongst the circles of my sisters friends. Of course I mean no offense, I just find her enthusiasm for "grandbabies" hard to relate to. [I do as well XP]

After counseling with my mother, and my sister. The decided next move was to ask Kaylynne on a double date to temple square to see the lights. [But you didn't call it a date, so I had no idea how I was supposed to act or dress for the evening :p] By the time that actual date happened it was some time mid December. Rod and my sister (From here on out I'm just going to refer to them as R&R) accompanied by me, went to pick up Kaylynne, we went out to dinner. Saw the lights and walked around in the visitors center a bit. Temple square was packed. Far more crowded then I would have liked. However the date was enjoyable.

My impression of Kaylynne at that time was a certain maturity [I would hardly consider myself to be "mature" in any sense of the word, but okay...] that either hadn't been there before or I hadn't picked up on. In my mind she had changed from how I remember her. My honest perception was that perhaps I wasn't the only one who had gained some maturity and experience that only is offered by time. I was glad to see our personalities were still compatible in person as they were online. That the personality quirks that attracted me to her before, were every bit as witty and attractive as they were when I'd first met her.

The date ended non ceremoniously, in my defense I had planned to walk her to the door, but alas it was one of those, the plans of mice and men go awry, moments. [Just to be clear - while I was distracted and talking to his sister, he leapt out of the car like a maniac so that he could get my door. Unaware of his intentions, I accidentally whacked him in the face with said door. Once again, I did not expect a second date, if it had indeed been a 'date.'] I was planning on the next date from the moment that date ended. Because of the holiday's that was much harder and got put off far further then I would have liked. In reflecting on the past, now knowing the future, perhaps that was for the best. I too flew home to be with my family over Christmas break. The events there helped to shape the future.

The story in some ways could not be amply told without mentioning Chris. A childhood friend of mine, who is in many ways my brother in every sense of the word. His family, were second parents to me, and it is still a strictly enforced requirement that I visit with them when I come home. I have always valued the time spent with his family, and am grateful for the compassion and service they have done for me and my family. So it is a requirement I fulfill with great anticipation. Though I am going off on a tangent, I wanted to make sure at least Chris is mentioned.

He by nature of also being a bit of a social networking freak. (I mean that in the nicest- well, I just mean it :-)). Commented on many of my status updates, with Kaylynne. That is how they met, and became friends. Talk about a back door connection! Kaylynne tapped into my best friend, the guy who knows nearly everything about me. Right down to how I think, well, maybe not that well, but still, he knows me. I am sure she will elaborate more about all the many things they talked about but I know there was certain information passed about certain individuals whose name had neither a K nor C in it. [Actually, most of the time I was complaining to him about the guys I was dating at the time; and he was trying to convince me to date him. ...He's not a very good wing-man... Can't blame a bro for trying I guess! :p -- Every now and again, Jared would be mentioned, and one or both of us would agree that he probably wasn't all that into me.]

Why did I spend two paragraphs on this? Well, first off, if this is written for posterity's sake, someone ought to have learned by now there is some value to having a really, really good back door connection. I've got no explanation for the second paragraph. I spent time with Chris during the time I was home. We went out to see a movie and Kaylynne came up in conversation. At this point Kaylynne and I were texting back and forth fairly regularly. I'm not sure what sparked the conversation about Kaylynne but he clearly had an agenda so I'm going to blame it on him. [A very un-subtle one! X_x]

The exact words exchanged escape memory but the gist of the conversation was pretty easy to read into. She liked me, and she wanted to know if it was something that was being reciprocated. Let me go ahead and leave space for Kaylynne's rebuttal should I be out of line....(Kaylynne insert rebuttal here) [My rebuttal being that you apparently had told him on a previous visit that you weren't interested in me at all!]...I responded that I was interested in her. Now, if anyone knows me. They know I hate beating around the bush. So I sent her a text that in essence said just that. I liked her, I knew she liked me, so let's go from there. The response, as I am sure you can imagine, was favorable.

Now we can skip ahead a few weeks. Lots of texting and messaging later. We had another date. This, as she had previously mentioned was impromptu. It was a date on Martin Luther King day. We had a date planned for later that weekend. This date was far less structured or planned then that date so I honestly wasn't sure what to expect. She drove down. Picked me up, and we ended up driving around Provo and Orem. Mostly because the BYU Museum of dead stuffed animals [The Monte L. Bean Museum] was closed, and partly because we didn't have a back up plan. [HE should have had the back-up plan...he was a Boy Scout! Tsk tsk tsk :P]

During this time we walked around Riverwoods discussing what ever came to mind. I, enjoying the company, figured we'd warm up in a few of the shops. Whichever ones that caught my eye at the time. This happened to be a toy shop and the store, near museum, that had many historical LDS items for sale. It was a great time, though I probably remember less with clarity and details than she seems to. I just know I really enjoyed the time I spent with her, the discussions we had, and the points made. I continued to be impressed by both her fun and honestly blunt character, and her intelligence.

Kaylynne isn't just knowledgeable about one topic. She knows a lot about many different subjects, has a desire to learn, and can hold a conversation about just about anything without seeming to lose interest. A quality that I not only find attractive, but increasingly rare in many young women of her age. That trait first manifested when I took her out to Jamba Juice on that first date, continued to impress me that evening. We continued to wander around on foot, then drove around Provo.

I do have to back up just a tick. I know you want to continue forward but the next part does take a bit of explaining. Jessica and Andrew are friends we share. They picked me up from the airport, that December. As Kaylynne mentioned, during one of the conversations with Andrew and Jessica, Kaylynne came up. This isn't something unusual as her name often comes up since it's a friendship we share, but the whole budding relationship was on topic and I called it a 'thing'. I couldn't call it anything formal. I thought it to be far more than an interest at this point. It however was clearly not an official boyfriend girlfriend situation. So I had to call it something. A "thing" just so happened to be the first thing that came to mind.

Ok, now fast forward. In the straight forward and no nonsense way that Kaylynne had done nearly a year and a half prior she asked me to define the "thing." I have to admit. I was as dumbstruck then I as I was a year and a half ago. I knew that whatever I said in Andrew and Jessica's car that evening would in some form or shape get back to Kaylynne. [Sisters before Misters! Girls talk!] Which is why I tried to carefully choose how to define the relationship. I did not anticipate that the word "thing" would be so hard to actually define. For this reason, we never had a formal "DTR" it was a more "DTT" Define the Thing.

We decided to be officially boyfriend/girlfriend that evening. I would say the rest is history, but well, I think there is more history left to be written. My readers would once again yell at me to finish the last three weeks of explanation. That just won't do. So, I continue on. We did sip hot mulled cider talking in front of the Provo Temple before driving back to my place. In my defense of the dark road I live on - I consider it only dimly lit, as I am used to life in the country where the roads are far darker.

We talked some more. Looking up at the stars and talking, the recipe for a romantic evening. I honestly couldn't paint a better picture if I had written it in one of my novels. It was quite crisp outside and she did bump up against me. Like most men, in my situation of little dating experience, and far less relationship experience, she had to "bump" several times before the proverbial 2x4 struck. The exact train of thought went something like this: it is cold outside, we are boyfriend/girlfriend, looking up at the stars, romance, she was standing inside my personal bubble. Ah! She wanted me to hold her, or at the very least put my arm around her. Again, I never profess to be the brightest bulb in the box.

I wanted to stand there forever. For me any type of meaningful relationship had been far too elusive. Here I was, with a pretty girl at my side. What else was I to do? Though I knew it had to end sometime I wasn't sure how to end it. At one point I said,

"So I don't know how to do this."

"What?"

"End a date," I replied.

All my previous dates had ended dropping the girl off to home. Nothing more. There was no way to end it.

"Are you talking about a kiss?" The exact wording escapes the mind, but that's the general idea of it all.

"I don't know, am I?"

We discussed it a bit before I just leaned in and kissed her. It honestly seemed like the thing to do. After that we did figure out how to part ways. I did tell her I loved her, it was the truth. For me love is a word that isn't used lightly. Especially when it comes to relationships. I didn't realize that you didn't say it right off the bat when you began dating someone. After-all had I not loved her, I would not have agreed to be officially dating her. [Oh...suddenly that evening is much more meaningful!] That is just my own particular way of doing things, odd as they may be. My emotions often get the better of me in certain situations.

As I mentioned before the date for that weekend had been previously set up. It got moved to a Sunday. Since she lives in Salt Lake and I in Orem, we get to see each other about once a week. Which is sometimes hard. I look forward to those times with great anticipation as I cherish the time spent together. She made a delightful dinner, and I don't say that to be polite, it was very good and I do look forward to many more like it. Then we spent a fair bit of time talking.

Now during that week, I had tossed about the idea of marriage. It was on my mind. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I will say this, I don't like to aimlessly wander. If I feel like I can have a sense of direction or a goal then I am good. I knew that the direction and goal of any relationship such as ours should be marriage. I know I am being blunt, but this part of who I am. Forward and linear thinking, even in my writing, I struggle with abstract ideas, and have to fill in the unknowns so I have a clear beginning and a clear ending or end goal. This is the way it is with my relationships.

Now, to those of you who are reading this, by all accounts this should have scared Kaylynne off. I shouldn't be writing this little piece, nor should I be as happy as I am now. I should be broken hearted, and alone. However I was either very lucky, or someone above was looking out for me. Because I popped the question about marriage. Admittedly the reaction was less than ideal. I regretted asking about it that evening, and for the few days afterwards. I can honestly say that I don't regret asking it now. I think in some ways it lead to where the relationship is now.

My intent was honestly not to say, "Hey babe, let's go get married." Which in some ways I think it came out as that. It was more, "I don't want to be just randomly dating without a clear objective. I want to date knowing that we are working on a relationship that may eventually lead to marriage." [Something I figured was just an assumption of all legit LDS dating relationships. We were in the car, that's where the car was meant to be headed...Jared just...hit the gas a little hard :p] Part of the reason for doing so was simply to have that sense of direction. In the coming days I started to feel like I got that sense of direction. At least hypothetically.

Turns out that idea was on her mind all the next week. Though I'm not sure if it was just residual scarring, or genuine interest, but we talked about the hypothetical, and it served as an enjoyable way of getting to know each other. Now I could go on to describe every date we've had since then. I am sure some of you would like to read about it. However I feel as though that there should both be some things left unwritten, and others things left for a sequel. [Part 3: The Revenge of the Relationship!!! Coming soon to a theater near you! :p]

Now this has been an attempt to put into words, everything that has transpired over a year and a half of getting to know Kaylynne. I hope it has been insightful, and telling of not only how things progressed but who I am as a person and what she means to me. In case I haven't sufficiently covered what she means to me I shall do so now.

Kaylynne is everything I am not. Besides the physical differences which are both many and obvious, there are many reasons why I love Kaylynne. She is intelligent; holy crap is she smart. I mean it. Talk with her some time, not just about photography, but about computers, life, social aspects, history, religion, and really listen. You'll learn something. I promise you that. She is practical in the way she sees things. Where I see a great opportunity for her and I to spend time together she sees an opportunity to make it better by saving money while spending time together. [I just think it's lame for him to drive all the way up here to pick me up, just to drive all the way down to Provo for a date and then drive me all the way back. It's just easier, and it saves gas if I drive down or he drives up - then it's 2x; not 3! :p]

She is strong willed, an individual, and doesn't mind doing what has to be done to achieve her goals. These are all things that I admire about her. Sometimes she called them quirks. She refers to them as her "difficult side". I see them as strengths. As parts of her character that fill holes in mine. I only wish I could be half the man that she sees me as being. I do my best to treat her as I've been taught; as my parents raised me to be something of a gentleman. She does her best to teach me how she wishes to be treated. As an individual, and as an equal and I admire that.

Does that change who she is? Not all at all. She is a princess to me. She is that diamond in the rough. The sort, a man has to really look hard for in a world where everything is gilded. She is my sunshine on a cloudy day, my gleaming white pearl, my admiration of heart, my sole love. [Is anyone else blushing and tearing up with happy tears, or is that just me?]

I hope to be writing a sequel to the greatest story of my life. Though there yet be many bridges left to cross, I will cross them, comforted, knowing she stands by my side.

---------------------------------------------------------

How could I NOT be totally in love with this guy!?!? He's seriously the sweetest!

His Side of The Story [Part 1]

So, guess what ya'll! Jared agreed to write up his side of our little love story (and is okay with me posting it).

So here's Part 1 of his version of how things happened [Some light editing, and one or two comments have been added by me :p]...

Boy meets girl, girl meets boy.

Ok, most of you know I am a writer, by hobby, and I'll be honest this isn't my type of writing. I typically write Lord of the Rings style fantasy, complex stories with in-depth plots and developed characters. I am not much a journal writer mostly because it bores me, and I never know what to write. I've tried, several times but I've never quite been able to get into it. However because of popular demand, and the fact that Kaylynne has taken time to write her half of the story, I feel obligated to oblige. (And it would be a shame if our "cat" named posterity didn't have it for its reference.) [<<< Inside/Facebook joke]

The first time I heard of Kaylynne was probably the winter of 2010. At least I think, it could have been 2009, but I think it was 2010. My sister, Rebekah, mentioned her during one of our near weekly hang-outs. I can't remember exactly what she told me about her, but it did intrigue me. Rebekah quickly shook her head and replied, "She's not your type." (Sorry kid, that's just how I remember it.)

Honestly, Rebekah should have known better then to dangle a carrot in front of my nose and then say, "Nope, you can't have it." I pestered her off and on, for I don't know how long before one evening she and I were leaving Glenwood for an evening of fun. We walked past Kaylynne's door and I pestered Rebekah again. She was nice enough to afford a knock on the door.

Now, before I tell what happens next I should back up and mention that Rebekah had told me some of the things that Kaylynne was facing with her relationships at the time. Me being the older brother that I am, had always given my sister relationship advice when it comes to guys. I came up with the "Guy Rules." The first rule was date guys with simple motives, and stay away from guys who appear complex. This lead to the use of the phrase "KISS" or Keep It Simple Stupid, a well-known acronym that Rebekah was kind enough to relay to Kaylynne previous to this.

Now back to the knock. The knock on the door was simple enough. (We are simple people. Nothing fancy or complex.) Kaylynne opened the door. My sister was kind enough to introduce me as the brother who said, "Keep It Simple Stupid." This actually was a little bit unsettling for me; at the time I would never have said something like that to Kaylynne to her face. My sister was not as reserved. The meeting was short, and I don't remember all the details except that it was an uncomfortable meeting for me. This isn't surprising, as most times I prefer to meet people in a far more casual session where I can meet them slowly, and on my terms. Rebekah and I went on our way and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

My sister and I spent a lot of time together. By that fact alone, I got to know a lot of her roommates and friends pretty well. Kaylynne was among those friends. Kaylynne by nature of being Kaylynne, caught my attention several times. The times I was able to talk with her I found to be enjoyable. We became friends on Facebook and went back and forth, on each other’s statuses. [Here I can't help but wonder if by "Kaylynne by nature of being Kaylynne" he actually means..."Kaylynne by nature of always being the loudest one in the room..." lol]

I finally decided to ask her on a date. Well kinda, I was hanging out with my sister, and asked my sister if Kaylynne would like to come. Kaylynne was unavailable for some reason or another. I, not knowing at the time she was Lactose intolerant, decided to get her ice cream anyway. When Rebekah and I got home from the evening of fun I came up with a card, worked up a bit of a mathematical equation and then ding, dong ditched the ice cream and card. Apparently I spelt her name wrong, and found out later she wasn't so good at math, and not knowing until recently she was lactose intolerant, by all accounts that should have been a failure. My sister being the, sweet young lady that she is, followed up and helped Kaylynne with the math. I got a text later that week confirming the date.

The so-called equation he wrote for me ...I still don't get it :p

This was in September of 2010. We went out and got Jamba Juice. We talked about a lot of things. Computers, in particular came to mind. I was impressed by her ability to talk about just about anything and maintain a conversation. She also had a good sense of humor. The date went well by all accounts. However our first "DTR" was not in January [2012]. It was in September [2010]. On our way back she asked me, "So are you interested in me or are you just appeasing your sister?"

Honestly I was dumbstruck. I wasn't expecting it, kind of like I wasn't expecting it in January. It was frank, straight forward, and I kind of liked it. No pussy footing around, wondering if she liked me, or if I was rubbing off as a complete idiot. Problem was, I wasn't even sure how to answer. My response was something along the lines of, "I don't date because my sister wants me to, I date because I want to." In my defense it was the truth. I just had a hard time with this whole dating thing, still do, but it’s gotten much easier as I've gotten older. [It wasn't a satisfying answer to hear...but thats what happens when you ambush a guy! :p]

Honestly I don't know why I didn't ask her on a follow up date. Again, it wasn't because I didn't like her or wasn't interested in her. I don't think my mind was focused on the whole dating thing. That's about the only excuse that I can think of. (It's a poor one I know.) All wasn't lost. I took her out shooting [4 months later]. Yes, this is the infamous [truck shooting] incident ya'll are thinking about.

In her defense it was a mistake anyone can make. There is a line that extends from the center of the bore aptly named the bore line. There is also a line that extends through the cross hairs of the scope to the target called the scope line. Those two lines are not parallel but intersect at a distance. The scope line is about two inches higher than the bore line. Now, at the time I used my truck as a bench rest and shot across the bed at targets. Previous to firing rifles, we had done a bit of skeet shooting. There were unbroken skeet scattered about, so as I set up for shooting rifles I had Kaylynne go ahead and clean up the skeet with a .22lr rifle with a scope mounted.

Honestly I am very safety conscience when it comes to shooting, probably because my mom threatened that I'd shoot my eye out for all those years when I was a kid. It never crossed my mind that there'd be an issue. [I just don't think he realized just how short I am and how high his truck was - I had to be on my tip-toes :p] Well, there were few "cracks" then a "Crack" followed by a, "Ping!" and then an immediate, "I'm so sorry!". There was a bullet imbedded in the opposing bed rail of my truck. No harm done, so I was honestly not mad at all. To this day, I enjoyed bragging that my girlfriend shot my truck.

What had happened was that she saw skeet on the ground that could be seen clearly through the scope. However she did not realize that the barrel was pointed at the truck. She pulled the trigger and the rest is history. Like I said it was not something that even irritated me. I knew that everyone who she told about shooting my truck wouldn't let her forget it. Now things went well, we went to Cabela's and had a bite to eat, talked some more and the date ended there.

She pointed out that I'm a bit of a jerk when it comes to our prior dating. We went on a date, that went well, and then we'd flirt back and forth on Face book, for months on end until our next meeting. This was a mistake on my part; at the time I was in a different a mindset and expectations have since changed. Now I am sure you want to know all the fun things that's happen in the last few months, to get us where we are today. However I have to end it here as class is nearly over and I have yet to figure out how to post this to my blog. So I'll post the second half soon.

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So! That's his side of the story so far...it's lucky he's smart and his classes aren't too complicated for him (otherwise I'd be worried about the fact that he wasn't paying attention! :P) - It'll be interesting to read Part 2! :)

A Legit V-Day Love Story [Part 2]

It’s probably ridiculous how quickly everything has happened. I used to be one of those people who made fun of couples who claimed they were madly in love after just 1 or 2 months! …Now I’m ½ of one of those couples!

The past couple of weeks have been a total whirlwind for me, mentally & emotionally so I may have some of the following events a little mixed up but I’ll try my best to keep things straight.

A couple nights after we’d agreed to become an official couple, Jared asked me if I could maybe pray about us. So, I did – I started to pray about whether Jared and I should be together and even fasted and prayed about it that Sunday.

I believe it was the Saturday of the week that Jared and I became an official couple that we were planning on going out, however, I got a little overwhelmed with things and plans fell through so the Saturday date was skipped. However, Jared asked me if he could go to church with me that Sunday instead. I was hesitant (I’ve never really felt comfortable sitting next to guys in church and especially not ones I was dating) but I said yes. I feel like I can always tell Jared anything, and so I went ahead and told him that I did feel a little nervous about Sunday because of my discomfort with the idea of sitting next to a guy. He, being the super amazing guy that he is, told me that if at any point I didn’t feel comfortable to let him know and that he would accommodate (he’s super sweet to make sure that I’m comfortable with different situations, and if I’m not he’ll do his best to either try and fix things or help me to feel okay with things). Luckily – I felt totally fine sitting next to him, I even let him put his arm around me (although, honestly, I was a little distracted by my prayers that Heavenly Father would let me know if it was okay for me to date Jared).

In the middle of sacrament, with Jared’s arm around me, I got a feeling that told me to be patient a little longer (not the yes/no answer I was hoping for. Although, in hindsight, I think I now understand what Heavenly Father was referring to in terms of me being patient a little longer).

That evening, after church, Jared and I played chess and had dinner together (I tossed together some crock pot ribs, a broccoli/grape salad and cooked up a bag of sweet potato fries – recipes to come!) It was fun to spend time together like that, we talked about things like the military and what not, and after dinner – he totally just got up, took off his watch, rolled up his sleeves and took care of the dishes (he didn’t even do that thing that guys sometimes do, where they point out that they’re helping with the dishes, like it’s a big deal or something – it totally blew my mind. Seriously girls, how cute is it to see a guy doing dishes!? So cute!)

Afterwards, he and I sat on the floor for a few hours talking together. I told him that I’d gotten an answer from Heavenly Father about us and that I apparently needed to be patient in regards to our relationship, but I couldn’t think of any reason why he and I shouldn’t date. Jared told me, “No…babe, you were asking the wrong question,” apparently – Jared had the end goal of our relationship in mind when he’d asked me to pray about things! As he and I talked, I started to realize that he felt much more strongly about us than I did. Every logical, sensible bit of me snagged my emotions and ran away with them and I started to freak out. We’d only been dating for 2 weeks at this point, I didn’t feel like I knew anything about him, it was insane and completely ridiculous! In my mind, it was like this complete stranger was all but proposing that I spend eternity with him!

I pulled away and began sputtering out every argument I could think of (though, if I recall correctly, only parts and pieces of what I was thinking managed to coherently make their way out of my mouth – I’m pretty sure I said “it’s WAY WAY WAY WAY too soon” multiple times if not a variety of other things). Now this is where Jared gained a ton of points in his favor. I could tell he was kind of shocked at my response and probably felt really rejected but instead of arguing with me or getting upset, he immediately responded by hugging me and trying to calm me down (he’s incredibly sweet like that…and I’m also pretty sure part of him was worried that my roommate/cousin would come into the living room wondering why I was suddenly freaking out like that lol) He told me he was sorry that he’d upset me, that he understood how I felt, that we could take all the time we needed to see how things go between us, and that he wouldn’t bring it up again until I felt I was ready to discuss it. One of my favorite things about him is his ability to calm me down (an ability that requires ridiculous amounts of patience).

I don’t really remember the rest of the evening after that (my mind was a little preoccupied with thoughts like, “He’s CRAZY! He wants to marry me!? What is WRONG with him!?”); we mostly just talked about random things, continuing to get to know each other.

Seeing as how he and I are still together, obviously I decided to stick things out and see where they go with him.

So far, he’s proven to be the most amazing guy I’ve ever dated. My past boyfriends didn’t exactly set the bar very high as far as expectations go and Jared knows that. However, instead of only doing the minimum he continually works to set the bar higher and higher (he once told me that even if our relationship doesn’t work out, he wants me to know how it feels to be valued and treated with the utmost respect and with absolute kindness so that I won’t date any more jerks who don’t treat me well). Jared is an absolute gentleman, and works hard to keep me happy. He’s caring and affectionate; he’s intelligent and fun, he’s laid back and patient; he sets a good spiritual example for me; and he’s got my back, no matter what.

I’d say he’s like a Disney Prince…but those guys are SO 2 Dimensional; Jared is better, than a Disney prince. All of the implied Prince-ly characteristics that every girl hopes to find in a guy and he’s MUCH more interesting!

To my friends hoping for a more Jane Austen comparison – No…he’s definitely not Mr. Darcy (and honestly, Mr. Darcy kinda struck me as being a little too…high society for my liking – sophistication is sexy, but you know Mr. Darcy [in modern times] probably wouldn’t know a darn thing about fixing a car, he’d be too busy taking the ballroom classes at BYU! :P)

Needless to say, I’ve come to truly adore, respect, and love him! He makes me SO incredibly happy! (Jared, I mean...not Mr. Darcy :p)

More to come….eventually. But until then – Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! 

(Sorry this was all text and no photos...I'm terrible at documenting my life! :P)

A Legit V-Day Love Story [Part 1]

I was sitting here listening to some of my favorite love songs, and it occurred to me that I haven’t yet written about the most wonderful part of my life! His name is Jared and I can’t even type his name without smiling. And since Valentine’s day is coming up, I figure this would be the perfect thing to write about!

I could go all the way back and talk about how we met when I was living at Glenwood, he’s Rebekah’s (one of my best friends) older brother – but…shame on me, I can’t actually remember meeting him, just that it was probably one evening when I wasn’t exactly looking my cutest. (He says he remembers meeting me but I guess there’s not much to the story since it was like a 2 second 'hello' :p).

Jump forward a few semesters, Jared decided to ask me out. He wrote me a card (and purposefully misspelled my name – he claims it was a clue that it was him who sent it, since his spelling skills are just a little lacking :p) and inside, his invitation to our date was written in the form of a mathematic equation (he knew I was a geek…but I’m definitely not into math/science as much as he apparently thought – kudos to him for trying though, it was still pretty clever). I saw the equation, shrugged it off and stuck it on my shelf (had it not been for his sister, I never would have actually figured out the equation and agreed to go out with him). – Long story short. The date was enjoyable…but a little awkward.

Jump forward another…semester or two. Jared invited me to go shooting with him, “we could call it a date if you want,” he said. “What the heck is wrong with this guy!?!” I thought. But I agreed to go cause…I like guns and almost never get the opportunity to go shooting. Long story short, I was super impressed by his collection and ability to handle weapons so well…and then I accidentally shot his truck. I did not expect another date after that.

A while ago, back around the end of October/beginning of November last year, I decided to take a Facebook fast (learn how to socialize offline, maybe get some homework done, etc.) without giving anyone any warning. I just closed down my page and didn’t log back in for 30 days. Apparently, it was at this time that Jared realized how much he’d enjoyed talking to me online and reading my silly status updates. So, when I got back online we started talking again – I believe it was that same week he invited me to join him, Rebekah and her husband to go to Temple Square to see the Christmas lights (he wasn’t really clear as to whether it was a date or not – I tried to dress cute anyway).

Shortly after that, I went to Texas for about a month. Jared and I had been playing Words with Friends and Chess with Friends constantly and continued to do so. Apparently, after his friend Chris gave him a nudge – Jared decided to be straightforward and honestly told me that he thought I was intelligent, quirky, and cute and that he was interested in dating me more. I told him I was interested in him as well and agreed that dating more would be a good way to better get to know each other. Jared started to actually talk to me a little more (via text…but, hey – we are the technology generation) and we continued to text everyday for about 3 straight weeks. Just before I flew back to UT, he asked me to go out with him a week after my return, and I said yes.

Right around the time that I flew back, Jessica (another of my best friends) told me that Jared had informed her and her husband that we were a “thing.” Unsure about what this meant (cause we had previously discussed dating but certainly had not agreed upon any kind of exclusivity or anything like that), I’d decided to approach the topic once I felt like I had a better idea of what his angle might be (in terms of dating).

That same week that Jared and I had agreed to go out, one of my exes called me up out of the blue and claimed that he just wanted to “catch up” so we agreed to get together on Monday (MLK Day) and go to the Dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving point.  That evening (the day that my ex called me) I was texting Jared, and one of us mentioned that we should “hang out” on top of dating, so that we could get to know each other a little more and decided that on Monday evening, we would do just that.

So! MLK Day and I meet up with Josh (my ex) at the dinosaur museum. We had a fun time, kind of just wandering through and talking about the exhibits and everything and afterwards we even spent about 2 hours outside in the freezing cold just talking (got pretty flirty too – luckily, he had a little bit of a cold so he didn’t make any moves. Which is good because knowing that I was also interested in Jared – I would have had to do one of those artful dodges that gals tend to do in awkward situations like that, and…lets just say I’m not actually very good at those).  It was enjoyable enough being with Josh but I was curious to explore the whole “dating Jared” thing, the idea of Jared really enticed me (mostly because he’d apparently given us a label, we were a “thing” and because…well, when a guy asks you out despite the fact that a year previous, you shot his truck…it could be a good sign!)

That evening, I drove down to Provo and met up with Jared at his apartment (which is on the darkest street I think I’ve ever seen in my life).  We went and walked around the Riverwoods. We wandered into the toy store and talked about things like mutual friends and our childhoods. Then we went into an LDS book/heritage shop that had lots of paintings of temples and replicas of old LDS Books of Mormon and stuff (I loved it! And it was perfect because it was an opportunity to discuss the church a little bit – which is a huge deal for me since I’d never really been able to discuss anything spiritual with any of the guys I’ve dated in the past). At one point we were standing in front of the paintings of the temples and I asked him which temple is his favorite – his reply? San Diego (my favorite temple as well!)

Afterwards, we decided to go on a drive (since at that point, neither of us seemed to want to just end the evening there) so I kind of aimlessly drove around Provo a bit and we ultimately wound up at the Provo temple. As we got closer to the temple, I suddenly decided to ask Jared about his description of us as a “thing.” He got all flustered (which was great – no, not because I’m fond of torturing a guy with awkward, straightforward questions – it’s hard to explain, just, it made me feel like for once his opinion of me was something more to express other than, “sure…I like you…” – something he’d awkwardly said on previous dates but I’d never been sure I believed it).  We managed to get through a mini DTR (Define The Relationship) and by the time I turned into the temple parking lot, we’d agreed to start a legitimate relationship.

“So…what does this make me to you?” I asked, “…I just wanna hear you say it!”

“Oh, it makes you my girlfriend!”

While we were at the temple, we just sat in my car in the parking lot and talked (Jared surprised me with a thermos of Apple cider - which is extra sweet since he remembered I’m lactose intolerant :p) So, over hot apple cider – we talked about anything and everything, our families, our temperaments, our spirituality, everything. It was really nice.  I felt absolutely giddy about the fact that I was sitting next to this really great guy and at such a holy place and we both seemed to feel so comfortable with one another! It was the first time I felt like Jared and I had an actual connection (in previous dates, I’d felt like he and I should work out because of our similarities, but it never really felt like we’d actually connected on any real level. I’d honestly begun to think that we would only ever just be good friends, which was fine – after all, he’s one of my best friends’ brother, I figured he and I dating would just be awkward anyway). I actually felt like we'd finally taken that step beyond just friends.

 So at the end of the evening, we spent a little bit of time outside looking at the stars (his street is dark enough for it!) and talking a little bit. I kept scooching close to him (partially cause I was cold and partially cause I was hinting at him that I wanted a hug) finally, I just went ahead and hugged him (just a minor disappointment, I thought “Dang…so much for a goodnight kiss if he’s not even gonna hug me! This is gonna be a sloooooooooow moving relationship!”).  At one point, he kind of just looked at me and said he didn’t really know how to do the whole “end of a date” thing – but I couldn’t tell if he was trying to wave a white flag or build up courage, so I stuck around a bit (I think I even teased him a little about not having the confidence to kiss me) and finally, he leaned in and gave me a kiss (and, awkwardness aside, it was totally a magic Disney moment)!

The craziest part was after I got into my car, just before I closed the door, he told me to text him to let him know I’d made it home safe and quickly added, “Love ya!” before turning to walk away. I’ve never had a boyfriend tell me he loved me (at least not so soon and almost never without dishonorable intentions). I wasn’t entirely sure if I’d even heard him correctly, so I managed to get out a confused “Love you too!” – I’m not even sure if he heard me. The whole drive home, I kept asking myself “Did I really say that!? Did HE really say that!? DO I love him or did I just lie to my new boyfriend!?” (For the record, after some reflection - I realized that, no, I did not lie to my new boyfriend :p).

So that’s us – officially boyfriend & girlfriend.

…It would be interesting to hear his side of this whole story one day (I wonder if I could ever talk him into writing it down…if not for my own curiosity then maybe for posterity’s sake?)

More has happened since he and I became an official couple, and I’ll be writing more soon (assuming anyone is even interested), but this feels like a natural stopping point for now.